J: Everything is a substitute. So we go from ‘everything is everywhere’ to ‘everything is a substitute.’ Substituting for place, reference; referral taking the place of deferral. Substituting for milk, dairy-free creamer. Substitutes for cream, butter, sugar, food. Food replaced by ‘what we crave’ – sugar, salt, the bare minumum of

the joke’s been made before: amplitude, volume. Fat and loud. J: You can understand why Americans make big disaster movies. It feels like we’re inside some vast beast. It sounds like it as well. The ride to Universal Studios went like this – in a coach you couldn’t

Greeting you as you turn the corner onto the public concourse, We invented Must See. Some visual cues as to what. But like the injunction to Move forward, it is a direction, is stated, without a, without direction. And We invented it. Whereas we who are about to, can go

A day begun in Barcelona and ending in LA, well, Anaheim, the magic kingdom of Howard Johnsons. A numb departure from BCN, somehow. The thought had been too hard to contemplate that we would be leaving Europe, so that when it came to actually going, it was as if we’

With vodka in mug, down Baluard, past the washing strung along the footpath, which I never snapped, to the almost hundred metre strip of sand beach, where I’m writing this, on the edge of a boardwalk. To my right, the D of the W building, the smaller sister of

We went seeking the Camp Nou Experience. Plus. First we had to get to Camp Nou, by way of Collblanc, Metro L5. Tourists flocking through streets where there were a conspicuous number of old people, to the stadium Barca’s home. Which, as it happens, is right next door to