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watch a kind of record every week by clicking on this name in lefthand margin or watch this week’s episode No. 26 below continuing

XVI.Two of these things I cannot live withoutlive without anticipationlive without the expected or the unexpectedlive without a long time leftlive without lovelive without my heart is brokenlive without my homelive without lost timelive without the wit of the old queerslive without wine or Russian vodkalive without affordable tobaccolive without healthlive without answerand without echoI left the streets I walked in the light of emotional lamplight I burrowed into the city it was Christchurch built on alluvial planes riddled with aquifers one day to erupt hiccup flat by bodies in a terrible clarity long coats all the contours pushed into a tiny spectrum corners in the smallest circuit so you turn how can you not know where you are by the river by the square by the curve of air by the mist and smoke in your mouth by the hunger and the thirstI don’t know your nameare you nextcan you live without yourinsidesher red hair freckles long black coat pockets safety-pinned a fingerless glove she reached me out of her heart a long splinter of glass ice her lucid eyes handed me it saying you’ll be wanting this this bottle of gin you are a miracleare you living here nowSydney is itevery one with a viewof the oceanspeaking from noteswithout saying a wordare you next readerwithout knowing how she could know all dimensions anticipations collapsed hiccup flat a door miracle flung open ahead it was Sydney and the dress rehearsal had gone long into the night I carried my daughter trains buses stopped for the night hills of the city curved in the fired air she slept home a far line distant in the hills along the curved night in the fired air a white door I didn’t know it was a taxi until her I poked my head in in my arms and he said where have you beenI’ve been waiting for youlive without reasonin your finitudeyou’re here now

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